Foolishly popular in Europe and other spots around the world, and really starting to catch on in the United States as well, a bidet can leave you feeling much cleaner and much fresher than scratching with toilet paper and hoping you got everything.
At the same time, though, bidets have a bit of a reputation for being sort of “splashy”. No, they’re not necessarily going to spray poop all over the place when you use them – but if they aren’t dialed in properly (something we can help you with) you might end up with more than a little bit of splattering going on.
With the information below, though, you’re going to be able to get your bidet behaving correctly without a lot of headaches, without a lot of hassle, and with next to no spraying or splattering whatsoever going forward.
Do Bidets Spray Poop Everywhere?
Bidets are beloved for their ability to help you get a much deeper clean “down there”, but they do have a bit of a reputation (fairly deserved, even) for spraying poop and water around when you first fire them up.
Now, a lot of this splattering and spraying has to do more with pilot error than anything else – you really need to know how to use a bidet to make the most of it – but the design itself is almost always going to open up plenty of potential for spraying all on its own, too.
Getting things under control is a huge piece of the success puzzle to learning and then loving all the big benefits that bidets have to offer.
How Bidets Work
Before you can master using a bidet it’s really important to understand exactly how they work. Only then are you going to know how to optimize the hardware that you are working with, getting a deeper and more consistent clean without a lot of splashing.
For starters, you should know that there are a bunch of different types of bidets available on the market today. Some of them going to be built right into the toilet itself whereas others are able to be added on later down the line (and these generally give you more flexibility).
When you turn on a bidet it’s going to almost immediately release a jet of water right onto your backside, strategically aimed (hopefully) at just the right spot to help you get a deeper clean in a way that toilet paper alone never could.
Some bidets even heat up the water at least a little bit so that you’re getting a cold jet out of nowhere every time you go to the bathroom! However, if you don’t have the budget for a warm water bidet, cold water bidets are not as bad as you would think.
The trick here, though, is finding a bidet that has an adjustable pressure sensor as well as an easy-to-target nozzle that lets you really dial things in. Even better are bidets that have handheld options, allowing for a whole lot more control (and a lot less splattering, too) for a clean and enjoyable experience.
Troubleshooting a Misbehaving Bidet
In this part of the guide, we are going to run down a couple of things you can do all on your own to troubleshoot a misbehaving bidet. A bidet that’s gone a little rogue and has started to cause you some real spraying and splattering problems.
Aim Better
For starters, you’re going to want to make sure that you are aiming the bidet correctly before you blame the system itself. As we highlighted earlier, a lot of the problems with bidets spraying poop around have a lot more to do with “pilot error” – incorrectly aimed bidet systems that just haven’t been set up right – than anything else.
If your bidet is aimed in the wrong spot it’s going to cause water to splash all over the place. If you are “right over the target”, for example, you’re almost always going to cause forceful contact from the bidet water to your backside and that’s going to set you up for a world of frustration.
No, instead you want to make sure that you are indirectly hitting your backside so that the water can cascade down and clean things up more gently. You won’t have to deal with quite as many messes when you are aiming correctly.
This is a big part of why handheld bidets are a whole lot more popular than the ones that used to be built directly into the toilet itself. Handheld options are a lot easier to aim consistently (especially when different people are going to be using the same toilet) and are generally just a lot easier to use.
Dial in Your Pressure Settings
The second thing you want to make sure that you are getting right when setting up your bidet is the pressure of the water it is shooting out.
Some bidets come from the factory pushing almost as much water out of them as a fire hose, or at least it feels that way. The super-pressurized systems are going to give you a fantastic deep clean – but they are also going to spray stuff all over the place, and that’s what we are trying to avoid. High water pressure will also feel very uncomfortable.
As a general rule of thumb, you want to start off with the lowest possible pressure from your bidet and then crank things up in increments until you start to splatter stuff around. Only then can you dial it back a notch or two, this will make sure that the pressure is just perfect.
Once again, this is a whole lot easier to do with handheld systems than most built-in options.
Use Toilet Paper
One more tip we want to leave you with is something that a lot of bidet fanatics absolutely hate, and that’s using a bit of toilet paper to wipe once or twice – getting the bulk off of your body “manually” – before you fire up the bidet to clean out the rest.
A lot of people who are getting into bidets are under the impression that it’s the only thing they have to use to get a super deep clean. Sometimes, though, that’s just not going to be your situation.
It’s not the end of the world to use some good old-fashioned toilet paper to wipe once or twice, especially if your visit to the bathroom has been particularly eventful.
You’ll help your bidet by doing a bit of the heavy lifting on your own but you’ll also cut down significantly on splattering, too.
Conclusion
All in all, using your bidet is going to take a little bit of practice until you start getting the results you’re after consistently.
No, these aren’t exactly the “set it and forget it” bathroom systems that they are sometimes advertised as. They do require a little bit of tinkering and toying to get working just the way you want them to, but after that using the bathroom – and cleaning up afterward – really is a bit of a luxurious experience.
If you’re dealing with a lot of spraying and a lot of splattering you want to fix ASAP, use the tips and tricks we included above to get your bidet dialed in.
If that hasn’t fixed the problem 100%, consider using toilet paper for one or two passes before you kick the bidet on. Chances are pretty good that the guide above will eliminate all splashing issues from here on out!